Dear L.

Thank you for your feedback,

Your Question:

How to deal devious co-workers?

Erik’s Answer:

This question comes back over and over, it is the same in class with the kids, as it is at work as it is between families and countries.

The fact is that all people are equal on one very important level, at any age, any where in the world, all we really want is to be noticed appreciated, recognized for our being, to be loved and respected for the smallest contribution that we may make to society.

It begins in very early age, some have it more naturally, as they have some special genetic gifts which others respect them for it, but they are often challenged internally, others require more work to be noticed, and find the calling through good deeds and kindness, others, in question, have not been able to get the attention they need, and are forced, to demand respect by way of intimidation (often even confusing, respect out of love with respect out of fear), but it is the best they can do at that moment…

What is important to notice that both, “good deeds”, “kindness” and “devious”, intentionally hurtful behavior, on all levels, finds its source in the very basic natural needs for oneness, for recognition and for love.

So, how to respond?

Well, you have a few options:

1.To simply ignore them. (I do not specifically recommend this option, as it is very draining of energy, and it has not solved your relationship or the situation. We often can not run nor ignore everyone who may not be kind.)
2.Confront them and put them in their place. (I do not recommend that either, as you just have done what they did, showed force and received respect through intimidation, not a ling term solution)
3.To really understand, that as bad as they may behave, their goal is simple, to be noticed, respected and loved…not more and not less. The often bring their frustrations from home, from the luck of attention they are receiving from their closest friends and family. So, their behavior,
is simply a cry for help!

This is were my “Inner Energy” comes into play, you may be able to recognize this now, but to be able to naturally respond to their attack with confidence. To be able not to react, not to run, not to get offended, YOU MUST HAVE HIGH INNER ENERGY LEVELS. You could be politically correct, and be nice despite their wrong doing, but it will eat you within, they will continue, and eventually this will become an incident. As you can see knowledge and understanding alone will not be enough to respond with kindness to their unfair attacks, but when the energy is there it becomes natural. You will instantly see as your attacker will be changing. Regardless of the past and the misunderstandings, every human being has a place to be, and an opportunity to contribute. Your high energy will inevitably inspire them, give them true respect, despite their actions, and they will receive another chance. They will “magically” change their behavior towards you, even become your best friend, and towards others.
By raising your Inner Energy, you have now contributed to yourself and to others.

For Adults I teach “Inner Energy Secrets”, which begins with connection to energy and self regulation as we have demonstrated during our presentation, but than I teach you very specific tools and technique, and how to continue receiving this inner growth for the all aspects of your life.

If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask

Erik Valdman